What IS my cause for Hope???

Discussion questions at the end of the book:

1.  Is forgiveness universal?  I mean, is forgiveness really available to all people, no matter the circumstances?  Is it, for instance, possible for the dead to forgive the living, and for the living to forgive the dead?  Personally, I believe that just about everything is forgivable.  I do have a difficult time with things like child molestors, rapists, and the like, but otherwise, with a little time and attempt at understanding the other person, most everything is forgivable.  It might take some time, but ultimately, I think that especially between close friends and/or family members, we should strive for forgiveness with everything we have.  Sometimes we do have to forgive the dead even though the dead aren't here for us to say the words to them personally, for our own well-being, we need to say or write the words as if we are speaking directly to the dead loved one.  

2.  I would argue that both in fiction and in real life, teenage smoking is a symbolic action.  What do you think it's intended to symbolize, and what does it actually end up symbolizing?  To phrase this question differently:  Why would anyone ever pay money in exchange for the opportunity to acquire lung cancer and/or emphysema?  Having never smoked a day in my life (cigarettes, pot, or anything else), I'm not really sure how to answer this question.  I don't have a clue what smoking symbolizes for the adolescent.  I have no idea why teens do it when they know what it does to their bodies and their health.  Then again, why does anything do anything that endangers their health--over-eating, bulemia, anorexia, alcohol, drugs, etc.  In hazarding a guess at the symbolism of smoking, I guess I'd say that it symbolizes teens' desire to feel adult.  They're on the cusp of adulthood and smoking is one way that makes them feel more grown-up.  They DECIDE, CHOOSE for themselves and doing so always makes a person feel empowered.  

3.  Do you like Alaska?  Do you think it's important to like people you read about?  I admit that Alaska and I would not have been friends [in high school].  I didn't hang out with people who smoked, did drugs, and/or drank.  I just didn't.  I like the fact that Alaska is a "hurricane" because it demonstrates her fun personality.  I can also relate to Alaska's suffering.  I didn't lose my mom, but I did deal with several horrific losses.  From that perspective, I GET Alaska's angst.  I don't think it's important to like people I read about.  I think that sometimes we, as the reader, are supposed to dislike a character.  For example, in Gillian Flynn's GONE GIRL, I found myself disliking both the husband and the wife!  But I think that was something Flynn might have been shooting for.

4.  By the end of this novel, Pudge has a lot to say about immortality and what the point of being alive is (if there is a point).  To what extent do your thoughts on mortality shape your understanding of life's meaning?  As someone who, sadly, has dealt with several horrific losses, immortality is possible only in the memories and hearts of the loved ones left behind.  We never really forget the loved one, but the pain of losing our loved ones does diminish as time goes on.  There are still days when the pain is severe and impossible--again--to deal with, but we find ways of coping, of remembering, and for those us still here on this earth, life does go on.

5.  How would you answer the old man's final question for his students?  What would your version of Pudge's essay look like?  "How will you--you personally--ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?"  Or, "What is your cause for hope?" (178).  This is probably the most difficult question of all to answer, as Pudge found when it was given to him for his final exam question.  I have found that life--school--experiences--doesn't/don't prepare us for the "labyrinth of suffering."  When something bad happens, especially the loss of a loved one, we are totally unprepared for everything that comes with Grieving--even when death is expected such as in a loved one who is dying.  I know that when my Baba (Grandma) died, we knew that she was fading quickly.  The doctor had called to tell us that she was sure my Baba would pass on within the next 24 to 48 hours.  My family arrived and we sang to her (she loved to hear my uncles, especially--her sons--sing).  When she finally stopped breathing some time later that night (my sister was with her), the news the next morning still hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was still incredibly painful.  We--my family and I--found comfort in each other as we shared beloved memories of my Baba and laughed, smiled, and joked about the wonderful life she'd lived.  I still miss my Baba; I always will, but that family time together after her death was certainly a path through the "labyrinth of suffering."

When I lost my babies, though, because I was the only one to have gotten to know them (one stillbirth, two miscarriages), I didn't have anyone, not really, to share funny memories with.  My family did surround me, though, and help hold me up through that time.  I know I would have curled up into a ball and just stayed in bed--never getting up to shower, go to work, etc.--if it hadn't been for the loving arms, love, comfort, and support of my beloved friends and family.

So I guess my answer to the question about how will I navigate the "labyrinth of suffering" is to say that I won't do it alone.....

Quotes from LOOKING FOR ALASKA:
 "'Francois Rabelais.  He was this poet.  And his last words were 'I go to see a Great Perhaps'" (14).

"...the labyrinth....'Suffering...Doing wrong and having wrong things happen to you.  That's the problem.  Bolivar was talking about the pain, not about the living or dying.  Who do you get out of the labyrinth of suffering?'" (77).

"...oppressive weight of tragedy..." (127)
"How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?--A.Y."  (133).

"For she had embodied the Great Perhaps--she had proved to me that it was worth it to leave behind my minor life for grander maybes..." (145).

"You can't just make yourself matter and then die, Alaska, because now I am irretrievable different..." (145).

"When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did" (163).

"She didn't leave me enough to discover her, but she left me enough to rediscover the Great Perhaps" (175).

"How will you--you personally--ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?...What is your cause for hope?" (178).

"straight and fast" (179+ various other pages)

"...we had to forgive to survive in the labyrinth....If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions.  But we can't know better until knowing better is useless" (180).

"I wrote my way out of the labyrinth" (180).

Choose to Forgive

As usual, Joyce Meyer tells it like it is without holding back.  It's one of the main reasons I like her.  In her book DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.....FORGIVE, she lays it all on the table and bluntly tells us that if we're believers, true believers in and of Jesus Christ, we have an obligation to forgive those who have hurt us--regardless of how we may FEEL about it.  It's all about making choices.

Interesting how Kay Warren says that CHOOS[ING] JOY is about making a CHOICE to live a life full of joy and Joyce Meyer says that forgiving is all about making a CHOICE to do so.  God gives us free will.  We can choose to hold on to our pain and hurt, or we can choose to forgive, doing ourselves a huge favor in the process.

I do completely agree.  Of course, it isn't easy to forgive when I have been hurt to the depths of my soul, but I'm certainly not doing myself a favor by hanging on to the hurt.  I'm getting more and more frustrated and angry, causing my friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, etc. around me to want to avoid me rather than being near me.  Remember:  hurt people, hurt people.  It's true.  We don't just hurt the person who hurt us by holding on to our anger and hurt feelings, we hurt everyone around us, especially ourselves.  And don't forget the heartache it causes our Lord and Savior when we choose to life in unforgiveness rather than a life full of the JOY and PEACE He so wants us to have when we choose to live in and through Him.

I find it interesting that Joyce doesn't say anything in her book that I don't already know.  I mean, I have studied forgiveness before.  But the truth is, even the best of us--yes, me too--hold on to our hurt and anger, even when we KNOW and feel the Holy Spirit nudging us to forgive.  So whether I already know the information or not, I need to hear it---again and again and again and again....until I get to the place where I have forgiven anyone who has hurt me, especially the one closest to me who has hurt me the most--and also especially myself, my body, for the way it has betrayed me over the years.

I think that last one, more than anything or anyone else in my life, has been the hardest to forgive.  My body failed me when I needed it the most and it continues to do so--in spite of whether I'm eating right and exercising or not.  (I won't go in to detail here....I've written about all the things that have happened to me in previous posts, so if you're interested enough to find out, you'll have to go backwards. I especially discussed them in my blog about Kary Warren's CHOOSE JOY.) 

Needless to say, whether we know the information Joyce Meyer talks about in her book DO YOURSELF A FAVOR....FORGIVE or not, until we can and do forgive every one who hurts us every time we're hurt, we need to keep reading it and re-knowing it.

Only one or two quick negatives:  1.  she does, essentially, say the same thing over and over about forgiveness.  It's a lot of repetition, finding a new way to say the same information.  2.  She misuses subject/pronoun agreement with singular indefinite pronouns throughout the book.  It's very frustrating.  It doesn't take away from the effectiveness of the book as a whole, but I couldn't help notice them, and yes, marking them.  3.  She has quite a few split infinitives, too.  Both of these grammar issues are becoming more and more prominent in literature these days.  I'm noticing that almost every modern-day book I read, these two grammar problems are fairly rampant.  As far as I know, though, they're still on the books as far as grammar rules go, and, even if they weren't, they still bug the tar out of me....


I know.  I know.  I should focus more on the content--WHAT--Joyce Meyer says about forgiveness and then DO what she says, but I am an English teacher.  Asking me not to notice grammar problems is like asking me to cut off my right arm.......