Sweet Romantic Love Story

ONE LAVENDER RIBBON by Heather Burch is a very sweet love story, if not predictable.  It is not an annoying predictability, but one that provides a very satisfying ending.  I found this book while randomly shopping on Amazon and thought I'd give it a shot--it was either free or just 99 (I can't remember which),

but either way, that's definitely in my price range!

I enjoyed reading it very much.  I hated to stop reading while I was reading.  I'm not so sure that it should have been called ONE LAVENDER RIBBON as the lavender ribbon is only mentioned one time and with that, many readers may miss it simply because it's just not made a big deal of.  But, since I love anything purple--lavender is just a GORGEOUS color, I can live with the title!  :)

I certainly recommend Heather Burch's book to anyone who simply loves a good, sweet love story.

What IS my cause for Hope???

Discussion questions at the end of the book:

1.  Is forgiveness universal?  I mean, is forgiveness really available to all people, no matter the circumstances?  Is it, for instance, possible for the dead to forgive the living, and for the living to forgive the dead?  Personally, I believe that just about everything is forgivable.  I do have a difficult time with things like child molestors, rapists, and the like, but otherwise, with a little time and attempt at understanding the other person, most everything is forgivable.  It might take some time, but ultimately, I think that especially between close friends and/or family members, we should strive for forgiveness with everything we have.  Sometimes we do have to forgive the dead even though the dead aren't here for us to say the words to them personally, for our own well-being, we need to say or write the words as if we are speaking directly to the dead loved one.  

2.  I would argue that both in fiction and in real life, teenage smoking is a symbolic action.  What do you think it's intended to symbolize, and what does it actually end up symbolizing?  To phrase this question differently:  Why would anyone ever pay money in exchange for the opportunity to acquire lung cancer and/or emphysema?  Having never smoked a day in my life (cigarettes, pot, or anything else), I'm not really sure how to answer this question.  I don't have a clue what smoking symbolizes for the adolescent.  I have no idea why teens do it when they know what it does to their bodies and their health.  Then again, why does anything do anything that endangers their health--over-eating, bulemia, anorexia, alcohol, drugs, etc.  In hazarding a guess at the symbolism of smoking, I guess I'd say that it symbolizes teens' desire to feel adult.  They're on the cusp of adulthood and smoking is one way that makes them feel more grown-up.  They DECIDE, CHOOSE for themselves and doing so always makes a person feel empowered.  

3.  Do you like Alaska?  Do you think it's important to like people you read about?  I admit that Alaska and I would not have been friends [in high school].  I didn't hang out with people who smoked, did drugs, and/or drank.  I just didn't.  I like the fact that Alaska is a "hurricane" because it demonstrates her fun personality.  I can also relate to Alaska's suffering.  I didn't lose my mom, but I did deal with several horrific losses.  From that perspective, I GET Alaska's angst.  I don't think it's important to like people I read about.  I think that sometimes we, as the reader, are supposed to dislike a character.  For example, in Gillian Flynn's GONE GIRL, I found myself disliking both the husband and the wife!  But I think that was something Flynn might have been shooting for.

4.  By the end of this novel, Pudge has a lot to say about immortality and what the point of being alive is (if there is a point).  To what extent do your thoughts on mortality shape your understanding of life's meaning?  As someone who, sadly, has dealt with several horrific losses, immortality is possible only in the memories and hearts of the loved ones left behind.  We never really forget the loved one, but the pain of losing our loved ones does diminish as time goes on.  There are still days when the pain is severe and impossible--again--to deal with, but we find ways of coping, of remembering, and for those us still here on this earth, life does go on.

5.  How would you answer the old man's final question for his students?  What would your version of Pudge's essay look like?  "How will you--you personally--ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?"  Or, "What is your cause for hope?" (178).  This is probably the most difficult question of all to answer, as Pudge found when it was given to him for his final exam question.  I have found that life--school--experiences--doesn't/don't prepare us for the "labyrinth of suffering."  When something bad happens, especially the loss of a loved one, we are totally unprepared for everything that comes with Grieving--even when death is expected such as in a loved one who is dying.  I know that when my Baba (Grandma) died, we knew that she was fading quickly.  The doctor had called to tell us that she was sure my Baba would pass on within the next 24 to 48 hours.  My family arrived and we sang to her (she loved to hear my uncles, especially--her sons--sing).  When she finally stopped breathing some time later that night (my sister was with her), the news the next morning still hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was still incredibly painful.  We--my family and I--found comfort in each other as we shared beloved memories of my Baba and laughed, smiled, and joked about the wonderful life she'd lived.  I still miss my Baba; I always will, but that family time together after her death was certainly a path through the "labyrinth of suffering."

When I lost my babies, though, because I was the only one to have gotten to know them (one stillbirth, two miscarriages), I didn't have anyone, not really, to share funny memories with.  My family did surround me, though, and help hold me up through that time.  I know I would have curled up into a ball and just stayed in bed--never getting up to shower, go to work, etc.--if it hadn't been for the loving arms, love, comfort, and support of my beloved friends and family.

So I guess my answer to the question about how will I navigate the "labyrinth of suffering" is to say that I won't do it alone.....

Quotes from LOOKING FOR ALASKA:
 "'Francois Rabelais.  He was this poet.  And his last words were 'I go to see a Great Perhaps'" (14).

"...the labyrinth....'Suffering...Doing wrong and having wrong things happen to you.  That's the problem.  Bolivar was talking about the pain, not about the living or dying.  Who do you get out of the labyrinth of suffering?'" (77).

"...oppressive weight of tragedy..." (127)
"How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?--A.Y."  (133).

"For she had embodied the Great Perhaps--she had proved to me that it was worth it to leave behind my minor life for grander maybes..." (145).

"You can't just make yourself matter and then die, Alaska, because now I am irretrievable different..." (145).

"When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did" (163).

"She didn't leave me enough to discover her, but she left me enough to rediscover the Great Perhaps" (175).

"How will you--you personally--ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?...What is your cause for hope?" (178).

"straight and fast" (179+ various other pages)

"...we had to forgive to survive in the labyrinth....If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions.  But we can't know better until knowing better is useless" (180).

"I wrote my way out of the labyrinth" (180).

The Terrible-Awful-Wonderful Book

Nicholas Sparks, I have a love/hate relationship with your books.  I hate so much the body-shaking, soul-deep, heart-wrenching sobs that wrack my body when I read your books.  I hate crying like that.  A few tears trickling down my cheek is one thing, but to SOB like that....man, there are only so many tissues in this world to hold not only my tears, but my snot.  UGH!

Yet, your stories are sweet, gentle, loving and remind me that even when things are at their worst, LOVE is still important in our every day lives.  We all want (dream of having or hope to have one day) the kind of love that you write about in your books, and THE CHOICE is no different.

I love the story of Travis and Gabby.  I see how it parallels the love story in THE NOTEBOOK, but yet it is still completely its own beautiful, wonderful, terrible, awful love story.  I also see a little bit of Gayle Forman's IF I STAY; ok, a lot of it.  Of course, THE CHOICE is told through the point of view of the male while IF I STAY is told through the point of view of the female who is actually in the coma, the fact remains that both stories deal with the power of love in the midst of horrific tragedies that result in the females being in a coma.

Beautiful.  Wonderful.  Terrible.  Awful.  Horrible.  Powerful.  Worth reading.  And, yes, I read the whole thing in one day, of course.  Thanks, Victoria Fullbright, for recommending this terrible-awful-wonderful book!!!!

Just Too Dark for Me

Blach.  I did not like DARK PLACES by Gillian Flynn.  Just like with GONE GIRL, the language is atrocious.  As someone who will (and has) read just about anything, I understand that there are times when foul language helps make a story and, yes, based on the characters in this particular story, it is clear that language is certainly part of their vocabulary.  But it's just too much.  I certainly hated the characters I was

supposed to hate because of the foul language coming out of their mouths, so I guess that means that the language was appropriate in that context.  That doesn't mean I have to like it.

I will say that Flynn calls a character "Polly," so I can't help liking that part.  Yet at the same time, she is a TERRIBLE person, so it's not so good.

The title is appropriate, of course, because the story is very dark as are the characters.  It certainly has an intriguing story line that makes someone interested enough to pick up the book and begin reading.  The story is suspenseful; we learn bits and pieces of the details of the murder throughout the book, making it worth turning each page.  Yet, even with these things that seem to make the book have a lot going for it, I just plain and simply did not enjoy it.

You might, so on this one, I wouldn't take my word for it.  Sometimes we as readers just don't care for something that others may like and see as a great read.

Was she?

I'm not exactly sure how I found AND SHE WAS by Alison Gaylin except that I must have been doing a search on Barnes and Nobel's Nook shopping site and it was either free or really cheap.  With that being said, it's a good book.  It's not GREAT, but it's good.  I'm not a huge Suspense fan, but I do like a good suspense story.  The only real problem I have with this particular story is that there are so many characters, they actually start meshing in together as one rather than separate individual characters with personalities and stories of their own.

Of course, the main characters are absolutely fascinating and the whole hyperthymestic syndrome is something that those of us who love anything to do with psychology will find makes the book well worth reading.  I love how Brenna throws out details that even people who were THERE can't remember fully or as detailed and specifically as she can.  I'd never heard of this syndrome which makes reading about it that much more fascinating--especially finding out that it's real.

I also like the fact that the characters in the story are REAL.  Brenna, her assistant "TNT," Detective Morasco, and the rest of the major players live real lives with real problems, real hurts, real pains, real sufferings, real love, real loss off love, etc.  If you are a fan of suspense, this is certainly a book you'll enjoy.  I see that there is at least one sequel (I haven't read to see if there are any more book or more on the way); I'll more than likely read more books by Alison Gaylin.  I certainly want to read more about Brenna's hyperthymestic syndrome....

There's a song in the story with the same title as the title of the book, "And She Was." It's by the Talking Heads...in case you want to listen to it.....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSVT...

Are you a POLLYANNA?

OK, so I started reading this book The Pollyanna Plan by some woman (see the picture).  Of course I was intrigued because, well, come one, it's POLLYANNA!!!  But the book STINKS.  I can't stand it.

1.  Emma is a very straight-laced, by the book, by the numbers, work-a-holic, realistic type of woman.  There is NO way she'd take on a whole new attitude and outlook on life in less than 24 hours.  She's have to do some research first to study up on the whole POLLYANNA concept--she'd research the "show," find out it's really a movie, but before that it was a book, and she'd read the book and watch the movie to get a real feel for the whole idea.  And her "transformation" would NEVER be that quick.  She's too set in her ways.  It would take TIME for her to get the hang of thinking positively on a consistent basis.

2.  Alice is NOT the person the tell Emma about Pollyanna.  Alice is portrayed already as a female player who isn't smart enough or positive enough herself to help change Emma's outlook on life.  She doesn't even know or understand the whole Pollyanna concept anyway!  She refers to Pollyanna based on a SHOW she saw when she was younger!!!

First of all, Pollyanna is a MOVIE based on a wonderful of the same name by Eleanor H. Porter!  

And Secondly, it's a BOOK, not a SHOW!!!

3.  Emma's dad would be the one who would know about attitude change, especially in terms of thinking positively, but the author has him dead already.

4.  Seriously....Emma would go to a bar after being fired and losing her fiance, have several drinks, talk to her slutty best friend about having a POLLYANNA PLAN, and wake up the next morning determined to DO it--and she DOES it?!  Just like THAT?!  Uh-uh.  No way.  Not plausible.  Even as a true PollyAnna, I struggle with finding the good in everything--something to be GLAD about.  For someone like Emma, she'd have to mourn her job loss by spending MORE time on the CV and job hunting than just one morning.  She'd hit the streets and she'd put in applications.  She'd go to several job interviews.  She'd fail at more thing after another before the whole POLLYANNA PLAN would TRULY hit home and take effect in her spirit.

And, she'd find all her dad's stuff that her mom packed up and [she thought] threw away.  She'd remember her dad's positivity and how happy it made her feel.  More than the brief few minutes she remembers, that is.  She'd be holding a picture of her dad in one his HAPPY t-shirts or the t-shirt itself when she would realize that her life isn't what she'd dreamed and that she CAN be happy if she just CHOOSES to DO what makes her happy.

It would NOT HAPPEN THIS FAST!!!!

Granted, I'm only about 18% through the book, but so far, it is making me angry and if I had the actual book rather than reading it digitally, I would have thrown the book across the room several times already.  I'm going to give it a chance; I'll finish the book, but I don't have high hopes for the rest of the book considering the fact that the first quarter of the book stinks so bad.

It does, however, give me hope that if drivel like this can get published (and read, God forbid), then there certainly is hope for me to have something I've written published--and read!!!!!

So I finished it and I have to retract my statement about "drivel," but I do still feel that Alice would not be the one who would tell Emma about Pollyanna, nor do I agree that Emma would take to following through with looking at life through rose-colored glasses so quickly after being such a hard-core realist for so long.  I do think that life-changes such as what Emma go through in this book are realistic to the story and that anyone in Emma's situation would do anything to try to make things better--in light of what has happened to her, obviously.

I do love that the book emphasizes that we can change our lives, especially the circumstances of our lives, if we change our perspective--the way we see things.  So often we see things only from our own point-of-view which gives us only half-truth or a part of the whole.  When we take a step back and look at the whole, truth is revealed and we find that what we thought was true--real--is only true (or real) in our own minds and hearts.  For such lessons, THE POLLYANNA PLAN is worth reading.

Besides, it's a book with POLLYANNA in the title!!!!!!!

Sick & tired of labeling novels

I have been frustrated for a long time about the labels that are put on books, but now that I've finished reading several books by Gayle Forman, I can't keep quiet any longer.  Gayle Forman's books--If I Stay, Where She Went, Just one Day, Just one Year, and Just one Night--are all labeled as "Young Adult" works of fiction.  John Green's books, especially The Fault in our Stars, is also labeled as "Young Adult" fiction.  Stephen Chbosky's book The Perks of Being a Wallflower is also considered "Young Adult" literature.  J. K. Rowling's whole Harry Potter series (all 7 books) is labeled in the "Young Adult" or, more often I do believe, the "Children's" category of fiction.

But...well, Seriously?!

I'll give you that Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, the first book in the series, is VERY much appropriate for Young Adult, even Children's Literature. Harry and his closest friends are 11 and they have adventures appropriate for 11 year olds.  The first couple of books in the series are simply adorable and majorly fun to read.  But, as even J. K. Rowling has admitted, the books get darker as the series goes on, beginning especially with book four, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, where a major character's death takes place in all it's horrific glory.  

By the time we get to the death of another major character in book five, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the books are not only dark because of the deaths taking place, but they're dark because they have moments where Harry and his friends are in real danger and for young children reading the books, especially twelve year olds, these moments can be very scary.  

Granted, some children are mature enough by the time they are twelve years old to handle the plot, the story line of the last four of the Harry Potter books, but at the same time, as a teacher, a mother, and an avid reader, I'm not comfortable with the books being "Children's" Literature for the simple fact that because of that label, many parents--and teachers--give children free rein to read such books without reading the books for themselves or WITH their children/students.  

What if the youngsters reading these books have never dealt with death before?  Except maybe in books?  Some of these deaths (most of them, actually) are FELT by the reader to the core.  Even as an adult, I sobbed like a big baby (truly--snot running down my face, blubbering, body-shaking sobs) when Dobby dies in the act of saving Harry and his friends.  I had to stop reading for a while because his death shook me up so much.  And it continues to do do so every single time I read the books.

And what about all the kissing and talking about "snogging" in the last several books?  It was bound to happen as Harry and his friends get older.  While there isn't any indication of anything going on between the youngsters beyond kissing, Rowling certainly leaves the door open to the very real possibility that more happens between some of the couples.  Nothing is written in a manner that can or should be deemed as inappropriate, but it is a reality that Harry and the rest of the beloved characters are getting older.

My point about the Harry Potter series is simply that while the first two books (and maybe book three) can easily be in the "Children's" or even "Young Adult" category, by the time the books get to book four, the such labels are simply too simplistic.  It's a crime to label books in such categories mainly or just because the major characters in the story are children or teenagers.  The focus should be more on the action of the story--the plot--which is much darker than "Children's" or "Young Adult" literature implies.

As much as I absolutely love each of these novels, I don't feel comfortable with them being labeled as "Children's" literature or even "Young Adult" literature.  While teenagers and/or younger children might be the main characters in these stories, each one has a difficult themes and plots and story lines that are just more mature than your average reader is used to.  Granted, most of the young adults who do pick up these books to read because they WANT to read them are more mature than the average person who is made to read such books, but it just seems as if we're putting labels on books and advertising them for a particular age group more because the main characters than because the stories should truly be read by your average young adult readers--without a parent or other respected adult reading the books, too, so conversations can take place regarding the difficult/hard themes, etc. within these books.

I realize that I'm not making myself very clear and that so far, I've spent an awful lot of time rambling in an attempt to make my point, but it just goes to show how discombobulated my thoughts about this mis-labeling are.  I am certainly glad any time I hear that young people are reading--no matter what it is that they're reading, it is important that they READ.  

But with reading novels with such challenging themes, plots, stories, details, etc. comes great responsibility and sometimes, these young people read these books not because they're prepared for what they're getting themselves into but because the books are labeled as "Children's" or "Young Adult" literature and thus, they go into these books blinded not by knowledge of what to expect within these stories but open only to the knowledge that the books they've picked up are age-appropriate....when, in reality, they may not yet be ready to read these stories--at least not without some guidance or discussion throughout the reading.

Of course, parents--adults--reading these books with their kids has a lot of great benefits.

For one, they have an opportunity to bond over great stories--great literature--when parents read books with their kids.  Maybe sometimes, they can even read the stories out loud to one another so that they can HEAR the different nuances within the stories that can only be heard when read aloud.  There are studies after studies that discuss the benefits of parents reading to their kids.  Why should that stop just because the kids are getting older and are called "Young Adults"????

Reading such books with our kids also opens the door for great, powerful conversations.  For example, in Just One Year by Gayle Forman (as well as others), Willem finds a relationship with his mother whom he as assumed for years doesn't care enough about him to know where he is, what he's doing, or who he's with.  It's wonderful for young people to see that parents aren't the enemy--that there is actually so much more to our parents than we'll ever realize--even if/when we do realize how amazing our parents are.

Adults reading such books with their kids also gives parents a hard dose of reality of where their kids really ARE.  I admit that I like living in a world where I believe young people aren't and don't have sex when they're so young--12, 13, 14, but the reality is that young people ARE having sex (and doing drugs, Lord help us, in spite of all the "Just Say No" campaigns).  Reading these books together can also help open the door for the tough conversations about sex and consequences, etc. of having sex not only at such a young age, but outside of marriage--if that's what the parents choose to talk about.

And don't forget the instant connection that we all feel any time someone loves something as much we do!  Why not have that kind of connection with our kids?!  I love it when Samuel or I can throw out a quote from one of our favorite books and the other either finishes it, says the next line, or picks it up and takes the conversation to the next level.  We only have to say one word or phrase sometimes for the other to "get it" and things to take off from there!  It's even better than sharing a favorite television show!!!

And how about the very simple fact that you each are READING????