The Lesson of a Box

*FYI:  Spiritual as well as very personal content.  Read at your own discretion:

THE CHRISTMAS BOX by Richard Paul Evans is a simple story about the true meaning of Christmas.  Mary, the elderly woman in the story, truly GETS what Christmas is all about because, like God Himself, she gave (albeit unwillingly) her child's life.  Anyone who has lost a child, knows and understand the sacrifice God made in sending HIS ONLY Son to live and die simply because He loves us so very much.  Parents love their children.  They would do anything to keep their children safe.  Parents would do anything for their children.  Parents hope to give everything possible to their children.  Jesus was the first true Christmas Gift....He was born as a baby--God sent Him because He loved us even though we had yet to be born...and Jesus lived a full life only to die a horrible, terrible, awful death on the cross because HE loved us--and continues to do so. 

God sent His Son to live and die--to be SACRIFICED--for the very simple fact that He loves me, Polly Anna Watson.  He WILLINGLY sent His son to die a sacrificial death.  Wow.

When my children died, I didn't give any of the three of them up willingly--not one.  In fact, if I had my choice, if I had my way, if I could, I would do whatever it took to bring each and every one back home to be with me. 

But God loved me enough that He SENT, He GAVE, He SACRIFICED His ONLY Son..........Wow.  Wow.  And Wow.

He holds my treasures....all of them

**What follows is not only very personal, but has a faith-filled message.  Read at your own discretion:

I try to read Francine Rivers' THE SHOE BOX every year for Christmas.  It is such a wonderful, sweet little book about a boy full of faith even in the worst of circumstances.  Little Timmy has his box of "things" that he gives to Jesus one Christmas....and Jesus accepts Timmy's box of "things" just as if they're THE MOST IMPORTANT TREASURES in the world--even the "things" are simple, ordinary, every-day items that demonstrate love to a hurting little boy.  So very precious and wonderful.

An amazing reminder of the fact that God does hold our hurts...the Bible even says that He catches ALL my tears.  Tears are such simple "things," but anyone who has ever cried over heartbreak, pain, suffering, the loss of a loved one, or even just because knows how very special it is that God Himself has record of each and every tear.

That means a lot to me right now when I seem to cry at the drop of a hat for any reason at any time...when the tears are flowing as if rivers are attached to my eyes---rivers that had been dammed, but the dam has broken....and the valley is flooding.

If God finds such things to be treasures, then it is also a comfort during this season to know that He is holding my three treasures close to His heart:  James Isaac, Panya Ruth, and Anna Rose.  Momma loves you, my Beloveds, but I know that Jesus is taking good care of you......Hold my treasures tight, dear Lord, and take good care of them for me until I can be with them for eternity.....

A few Gentle Reminders

Throughout Rev. Hamlet's very good book about his wonderful dog, Gipper, (The Gospel According to Gipper) he shares "Some Gentle Reminders."  They're based on "some gentle reminders" his son gave him when he was going on an overseas trip.  I love how he uses his very sweet, precious, and most beloved golden retriever Gipper to share these gentle reminders of God's love. 

Rev. Hamlet is a man who will forever be a hero in my book (as will Wayne Wooten and my Dad, Ken Kinsey).  Why are all my heroes men?  Huh.  Interesting.  But for right now, they are--and for various reasons. 

But that's not the point of this.  I want to take a few minutes to write a few of my own "Gentle Reminders" that I feel God has for me:

- Just because I make a decision that others may question does not mean that I do not have His blessing for the decision.  Sometimes decisions I make for myself make no sense to others, but God knows and He is central to all my decision-making.  As long as I keep Him involved, I know that He will work everything out according to His plan.

- Even in my loneliest, most depressed, lowest of the low, saddest, weakest, lowest feelings of self-esteem, HE LOVES ME.  He loves me so much that He rejoices over me.  In fact, "He will exalt over me by singing a happy song" (Zeph. 3:17).  (I love that image.  Yes, it's important that He sent His son to live and die for me.  That is more meaningful that can be put into words, but to imagine that He also loves me enough to sing a happy song--maybe even do a "happy dance" over me is pretty awesome, too.)

- He will NEVER leave me alone or to deal with the trials in my life on my own.  I might try to deal with them on my own, but He is always right THERE waiting for me to let Him have the control when I'm ready to release it again.

- He walks WITH me every single step of the way.

- But even more than walking with me, He CARRIES me when I can't walk any more.  (I'm not doing much walking right now, you know.)

- He holds me when I need to be held.  He wraps His loving arms around me and holds me close--even when my husband my won't/doesn't.

- He is holding my beloved children in His arms, waiting and preparing for the day when we will all be together.

- He is my shield, my protector--He goes before me into every battle.  Even though my armor is battle-scarred and maybe even falling off a little, as long as I continue to stand firm in Him, He will continue to fight my battles for me.  (I just need to let Him.)

- He has sent friends, family, other loved ones, and Godly counsel to this earth to help me when I need it--which is all the time.....

- When I feel unloved, He LOVES me.  (Did I ever tell you that my favorite song when I was a little girl was "Jesus Loves Me?")

Thank You, Lord (and Rev. Hamlet), for this wonderful "gentle reminders."  I needed them today......

I still have hope

As one who has recently decided to separate from her husband, I found this book, Hope for the Separated by Gary Chapman, to be well worth the read.  There are a few things in the book that upset me enough to send me into a depression, though.  for a book that's supposed to be about HOPE, it's odd that I spiraled into depression rather than felt uplifted. 

I spoke with my counselor regarding some of the things that upset me and she said that I have to weed out what's worth reading from what IS in a book like this.  An author like Gary Chapman knows what he's doing, but at the same time, ever situation is different and it's impossible to cover EVERY different type of situation in such a book.

There is a lot of reassurance and a reminder that I do need to stay the course....it is an act of love forcing my husband and I to have a better marriage---a marriage that truly honors God rather than just a marriage where he's here and I'm here and that's all.

Pray for my husband and I........I haven't given up hope...

PARADISE LOST: It is TOOOOOO...........

I just don't have the energy right now to do a full-blown blog about PARADISE LOST.....Suffice it to say that while I love the STORY Milton presents, it is SO INCREDIBLY VAST.  I get that it's an epic poem and as such, must be VAST.  But at the same time, the STORY could have been written in the course of one book rather than in 12 and that's just frustrating.  The descriptions are, indeed, vivid and fill my imagination, but they're TOOOOOOOOOO.............(you fill in the blank). 

I have a thousand topics to talk/write about as far as PL is concerned, but right now, that's all I care about writing.  Maybe one day I'll come back and do a blog/review that does PL justice....