Justice for the Mom

SMALL GREAT THINGS by Jodi Picoult is another book with which I have a love-hate relationship. I don't even know where to begin with what I want to say about this new book. I realize that this is a book that has racism/inequality--well, inequity--as its main focus/purpose/point/plot. It is what Jodi has been talking about in her interviews and statements about SMALL GREAT THINGS. It is in everything I'm reading about the book. It is the focus of just about single review I have read so far of the book.

But for me, SMALL GREAT THINGS is not a story about race. For me, this is a story about child loss--the devastation of child loss for ALL involved: the mom, the dad, the nurse(s), other health care staff, grandparents, and on and on the list goes. Losing Davis is certainly incredibly difficult for Brit and Turk, the parents. 

Brit is so incredibly devastated, she never recovers from the horror of the loss of her Precious. 

Turk deals with the loss the only way he knows how: with hate. 

Ruth is the consummate professional, attempting to over-ride her hurt at being mistreated in order to do what is best for the innocent in her care; when that falls apart, she grieves his loss as only one who fights for the life of another is able to grieve. 

The rest of the hospital staff is able to get on with their lives and put the death of Davis in whatever place health professionals do when a patient doesn't make it. They do their jobs. 

No one deals with the loss of this tiny, 3-day old baby in a so-called "typical" manner.

As someone who has experienced child loss myself (3 times), "typical" grieving is an oxymoron. There truly is NO "typical" grieving when it comes to the death of a baby--for anyone involved. What makes the grief that much more difficult to deal with is are the words--the insensitive words spoken in a vain attempt to comfort the bereaved.

Brit experienced such, but not one person cared enough to focus on her and what she may have needed. Not even her husband who supposedly so desperately wanted to help her through her time of grief. SMALL GREAT THINGS makes me angrier than I can possibly say for the sake of Brit--the Mommy who went into the hospital with a baby in her womb only to come out of the hospital with empty arms--the WORST, most WRONG thing that can ever happen to ANY parent. 

Yes, Brit is a White Supremacist who demands that black Ruth be taken off the care of her son, but like Ruth's color, that is NO reason to make Brit suffer even more than she already was. Casting blame didn't do Brit any good. It only fueled her hatred and intensified her grief.

Ruth loses her job and is dragged through the gutter all because those involved want SOMEONE to blame--to pay for--something that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I'm here to tell you that the blame game only causes more problems and continues the hurt and devastation. I blamed my husband for our loss for a very long time. It almost ruined our marriage. It almost led me to do something similar to what Brit does. It fueled my rage and gave me something to hang on to since I didn't have my baby to hold in my arms. But in the long run, all I got out of it was a lot of physical and mental health issues--that I will probably have to deal with the rest of my life.

The grief will ALWAYS be there, but forgiveness is freedom. Blaming wraps the blamer tight in shackles and imprisons him/her worse than grief ever will.

My compassion goes out to Ruth, of course it does. I want Ruth vindicated with every fiber of my being.

But my real heart goes to Brit, the mom who is ignored and misunderstood as well as mistreated. 

SMALL GREAT THINGS by Jodi Picoult is another story that demonstrates the truth that we, as a society, have NO IDEA what to do with mothers who are not mothers with physical, live children in her arms. We treat these mothers even worse than we treat women like Ruth. Do you realize that there isn't even a name for parents (men or women) who suffer the excrutiating loss of a baby/child???

So Jodi, in spite of the fact that I am fan of yours, have been a fan, and always will be a fan, I want "justice" for Brit more than for Ruth in SMALL GREAT THINGS.