I admit it. My name is Polly Anna Watson and I'm a Potterite. I LOVE Harry Potter. If, by some chance, the Christians who have been shouting for years that the Harry Potter series is "of the devil" and shouldn't be read by serious Christians, I challenge those nay-sayers to actually READ the series and see for themselves.....we love Lord of the Rings and there are witches, wizards, warlocks, etc., etc., etc. littered throughout that series. Why can't we enjoy Harry Potter, too???? It doesn't make any sense to me to go back to the purpose Tolkein (Tolkien?) wrote The Lord of the Rings series vs. J.K. Rowling's reason for writing the Harry Potter series. When push comes to shove, it boils down to what each individual person who reads the books understands/gets when reading the series. It's what we each individually see in the story that matters.
So I'm reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again. It's actually an accident that I'm reading this one again. My MWF British Lit class chose to read Harry Potter. When I was making out the schedule, I accidentally wrote down the title for book 2 rather than for book 1--Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's really funny. No matter what, though, reading ANY Harry Potter book is worth it!!!!!
Even though I've already read the whole series twice before, I'm ALREADY at chapter 4--and that's just one day's worth of reading! I'm probably even going to read at least one more chapter before I go to bed! Oh yeah!!!!
I LOVE Harry, Ron, Hermoine, Fred, George, Ginny, Percy, Bill, Charlie, Molly, Arthur, Dumbledore, Snape, Hagrid, and on and on and on and on!!!!!! Oh yeah!
Great Books
To read or not to read?....that is a silly question!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
LotR
I have now watched Lord of the Rings: Return of the King--3rd movie in the trilogy--twice!!! I think I'm finally inspired enough to go back and read the books. I read The Hobbit many, many years ago and found it very long and tedious. I had a boyfriend in high school give me the boxed 25th anniversary special boxed set. I just never had a desire to follow through and read the whole series from beginning to end. But, now, after watching the 3rd movie twice, I think I'm going to do it. I texted my sister who has had my boxed set of the books for several years now and asked her if she was finished with them. She's going to bring them to by the end of the month.....here's to a summer full of The Lord of the Rings....and Harry Potter!!!!! Yes, Potter again! I can hardly wait! I'm re-reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again because my MWF British Lit class is reading it this semester! And I don't mind reading it again at all!!!!! Wish me luck....!!!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
SING YOU HOME by Jodi Picoult
I've completely lost count as to what number book this is for me....I was trying to keep track, but since I use this blog for more than the books I read, I can't keep going back to look every time I want to post something new. Oh well. It's my issue. I'll learn to deal!
Jodi Picoult has been one of my favorite authors ever since I read her book The Pact several years ago. It definitely is a book worth reading. I had a problem with the ending of the book, though, so, since Jodi Picoult is still alive and has an email, I emailed her and asked her why she ended the book the way she did since it was obviously the wrong ending. (I was much nicer in my email, I promise you!) Within 24 hours, this published author wrote me back!!!!! I was so excited to see her name in my email in-box that my heart literally fluttered in my chest and I had a hard time catching my breath as I opened the email. She was very gracious and admitted that the ending of The Pact is her only writing regret; she had ended the book as she'd expected her audience wanted rather than the way it should have. Of course, it was a lesson learned and she has devoted herself to writing the way her characters truly are and not what she, the actual writer of the words, feels the story should go.
I so greatly admire that, especially her honesty! Not to mention the fact that a published author wrote to ME!!!!! And she does answer her own emails! She does NOT have an assistant! Call me naive; I don't care. I believe her!
I've gone on to read many of her books--not all, especially not her early ones, but definitely all of them in the past 5 years. My favorite Jodi Picoult book is My Sister's Keeper. If you saw the movie, you truly missed out on what made the book worthy of being made into a movie. The ending is a real surprise rather than the expected ending of the movie and the movie ending is definitely a disappointment. Of course, I don't like the ending of the book, either, but that's because I didn't WANT that to happen, but it's the "right" ending....the movie ending isn't.
Yeah, I'm leaving it at that! I hope you all go out and get a copy of the book and READ IT!!!!
Anyway, Sing You Home is Jodi Picoult's book that came out earlier this month--I got it within two days of its release! I would have had it sooner, but the day I was going to get it, my battery died on me, making me late to go pick up Samuel!
Anyway, this particular book will always hold a special place in my heart because in the very first chapter, Max and Zoe suffer a stillbirth; they lost their sweet Daniel at 28 weeks while I lost my precious James Isaac at full term, 38 weeks. Like me, they had also been through 2 miscarriages, as well. I felt as if Jodi was telling MY story. Of course, I didn't go through IVF to get pregnant any of the times I was ever pregnant, but any story of child loss creates a connection that only those who have been through it TRULY understand. I was devastated for Max and Zoe and I knew that if their marriage survived, it would be a continuous uphill battle. I've dealt with that part myself, as well.
But Max doesn't want to continue watching Zoe go through everything she has to go through in order to just get pregnant, so when she says she's ready to start the treatments again, he ends the marriage. It is expected, but still sad. Both deal with not only the loss of their child but also the loss of their marriage in tragic ways and suffer greatly.
It isn't too long when Zoe is pulled out of a pool (is she trying to drown herself or not? you read it and see what you think) by a casual acquaintance, Vanessa. The two women quickly become the best of friends and, yes, they're soon lovers. They get married and decide to have a baby....one of the embryos still frozen from Zoe's last IVF treatment cycle. This is where the "fun" begins.
From there, the story truly become a 3-ring circus. I'd like to say that not all Christians are the way Christians are portrayed in Sing You Home. Granted, I have to admit that Jodi is portraying Christians in the stereotypical light that they (I should say we) have become. It's so very sad. But again, not every Christian is a hypocrite to the degree that the Christians in this story are portrayed. Of course, the worst is the lawyer who claims to be a believer, yet who obviously wants this case for what it can do for his career and to make him more visible in the public eye. I truly am disgusted by Wade Preston and wanted him punched in the face by SOMEONE!!! He never asks for what Max wants or really cares about Max. (In case I forgot to say it, Wade Preston is Max's laywer.) By the time the lawsuit is filed, it's completely out of Max's hands. He honestly doesn't even have a choice in the matter of whether or not it continues. It's so disgusting.
Liddy, Max's sister-in-law, is my favorite character in the story and, I think, the most misunderstood. She is seen/portrayed as the "perfect" Christian. The woman who has waited for marriage to have sex. The woman who has been a Christian all of her life. The woman who prays all the time. The woman who has a "perfect" life with a "perfect" rich husband. But yet, Liddy, like Zoe, has several miscarriages (5 if I am remembering correctly) and is having fertility problems as well. All Liddy wants, like Zoe, is to be a Mom. Yet, Zoe hates Liddy and everything Liddy stands for. At one point in the story, Zoe refuses to have anything to Liddy because, as Zoe says, they have nothing in common.
I was so saddened to see that what Zoe was craving from others--acceptance for who she is and what she wants in life, she is unwilling, unable to give to Liddy. Rather than embracing Liddy as "sisters who have shared grief in child loss," Zoe lashes out at Liddy and completely makes the Liddy the "bad guy."
Yet, Liddy, like Zoe, is just trying to do her best in this crazy, mixed-up world and to be the best person she can be. She has sins in her life, just as she says Zoe does--of course, Zoe's sin is for the anyone to see who's willing to see (according to Liddy's beliefs as a Christian, now--keep that in mind)--that she's gay and in a gay marriage--while Liddy's sin is secret and locked behind a hurting, very scared heart. (If you want to know Liddy's sin, you just have to read the book!) Zoe is brave enough to follow through with what she wants and what she wants is Vanessa. Liddy hides and pretends that all is well in her world, yet everything she's ever known, loved, or believed in is crashing down around her.
I love both Liddy and Zoe in this story. I desperately wanted Zoe and Liddy to be friends. I could see even early on that these two women could be soul mates...if only Liddy could love Zoe unconditionally and if only Zoe could see that Christians aren't perfect!!!!
The trial between Max and Zoe for the embryos is the main focus of the book and takes up more than half of the book overall--at least 200 pages +. But to me, the REAL story is between Liddy and Zoe. I hungrily ate up the pages, looking and hoping at any moment for these two women to fall into each others' arms--not as lesbian lovers--but as women who have shared more than either one realizes because each is so wrapped up in her own world--of hurts, pain, and suffering.
Yes, Sing You Home has as a central focus the theme of homosexuality. Yes, it's an issue that is dealt with and covered in more ways than I thought possible. I'm not sure that there's a real answer to the problem of lack of tolerance for gays and lesbians, but this story certainly shares both sides of the story in a way that gets the reader thinking--in good, and hopefully, very productive ways.
But the homosexuality issue/theme is, to me, more in the background of the story. This is a story about finding the one thing that every single human being craves with every fiber of our being....love and acceptance for who we are where we are in any given moment of time.
Sing You Home is beautifully written and an absolute must-read. You will probably focus on details and issues different from mine, but that's just awesome! I know that I focused on Liddy and Zoe because both women have been through similar experiences to what I have been through. As a result, I wanted throughout the book for all 3 of us to be the very best of friends. As far as I'm concerned, I was successful in achieving that goal.......
Jodi Picoult has been one of my favorite authors ever since I read her book The Pact several years ago. It definitely is a book worth reading. I had a problem with the ending of the book, though, so, since Jodi Picoult is still alive and has an email, I emailed her and asked her why she ended the book the way she did since it was obviously the wrong ending. (I was much nicer in my email, I promise you!) Within 24 hours, this published author wrote me back!!!!! I was so excited to see her name in my email in-box that my heart literally fluttered in my chest and I had a hard time catching my breath as I opened the email. She was very gracious and admitted that the ending of The Pact is her only writing regret; she had ended the book as she'd expected her audience wanted rather than the way it should have. Of course, it was a lesson learned and she has devoted herself to writing the way her characters truly are and not what she, the actual writer of the words, feels the story should go.
I so greatly admire that, especially her honesty! Not to mention the fact that a published author wrote to ME!!!!! And she does answer her own emails! She does NOT have an assistant! Call me naive; I don't care. I believe her!
I've gone on to read many of her books--not all, especially not her early ones, but definitely all of them in the past 5 years. My favorite Jodi Picoult book is My Sister's Keeper. If you saw the movie, you truly missed out on what made the book worthy of being made into a movie. The ending is a real surprise rather than the expected ending of the movie and the movie ending is definitely a disappointment. Of course, I don't like the ending of the book, either, but that's because I didn't WANT that to happen, but it's the "right" ending....the movie ending isn't.
Yeah, I'm leaving it at that! I hope you all go out and get a copy of the book and READ IT!!!!
Anyway, Sing You Home is Jodi Picoult's book that came out earlier this month--I got it within two days of its release! I would have had it sooner, but the day I was going to get it, my battery died on me, making me late to go pick up Samuel!
Anyway, this particular book will always hold a special place in my heart because in the very first chapter, Max and Zoe suffer a stillbirth; they lost their sweet Daniel at 28 weeks while I lost my precious James Isaac at full term, 38 weeks. Like me, they had also been through 2 miscarriages, as well. I felt as if Jodi was telling MY story. Of course, I didn't go through IVF to get pregnant any of the times I was ever pregnant, but any story of child loss creates a connection that only those who have been through it TRULY understand. I was devastated for Max and Zoe and I knew that if their marriage survived, it would be a continuous uphill battle. I've dealt with that part myself, as well.
But Max doesn't want to continue watching Zoe go through everything she has to go through in order to just get pregnant, so when she says she's ready to start the treatments again, he ends the marriage. It is expected, but still sad. Both deal with not only the loss of their child but also the loss of their marriage in tragic ways and suffer greatly.
It isn't too long when Zoe is pulled out of a pool (is she trying to drown herself or not? you read it and see what you think) by a casual acquaintance, Vanessa. The two women quickly become the best of friends and, yes, they're soon lovers. They get married and decide to have a baby....one of the embryos still frozen from Zoe's last IVF treatment cycle. This is where the "fun" begins.
From there, the story truly become a 3-ring circus. I'd like to say that not all Christians are the way Christians are portrayed in Sing You Home. Granted, I have to admit that Jodi is portraying Christians in the stereotypical light that they (I should say we) have become. It's so very sad. But again, not every Christian is a hypocrite to the degree that the Christians in this story are portrayed. Of course, the worst is the lawyer who claims to be a believer, yet who obviously wants this case for what it can do for his career and to make him more visible in the public eye. I truly am disgusted by Wade Preston and wanted him punched in the face by SOMEONE!!! He never asks for what Max wants or really cares about Max. (In case I forgot to say it, Wade Preston is Max's laywer.) By the time the lawsuit is filed, it's completely out of Max's hands. He honestly doesn't even have a choice in the matter of whether or not it continues. It's so disgusting.
Liddy, Max's sister-in-law, is my favorite character in the story and, I think, the most misunderstood. She is seen/portrayed as the "perfect" Christian. The woman who has waited for marriage to have sex. The woman who has been a Christian all of her life. The woman who prays all the time. The woman who has a "perfect" life with a "perfect" rich husband. But yet, Liddy, like Zoe, has several miscarriages (5 if I am remembering correctly) and is having fertility problems as well. All Liddy wants, like Zoe, is to be a Mom. Yet, Zoe hates Liddy and everything Liddy stands for. At one point in the story, Zoe refuses to have anything to Liddy because, as Zoe says, they have nothing in common.
I was so saddened to see that what Zoe was craving from others--acceptance for who she is and what she wants in life, she is unwilling, unable to give to Liddy. Rather than embracing Liddy as "sisters who have shared grief in child loss," Zoe lashes out at Liddy and completely makes the Liddy the "bad guy."
Yet, Liddy, like Zoe, is just trying to do her best in this crazy, mixed-up world and to be the best person she can be. She has sins in her life, just as she says Zoe does--of course, Zoe's sin is for the anyone to see who's willing to see (according to Liddy's beliefs as a Christian, now--keep that in mind)--that she's gay and in a gay marriage--while Liddy's sin is secret and locked behind a hurting, very scared heart. (If you want to know Liddy's sin, you just have to read the book!) Zoe is brave enough to follow through with what she wants and what she wants is Vanessa. Liddy hides and pretends that all is well in her world, yet everything she's ever known, loved, or believed in is crashing down around her.
I love both Liddy and Zoe in this story. I desperately wanted Zoe and Liddy to be friends. I could see even early on that these two women could be soul mates...if only Liddy could love Zoe unconditionally and if only Zoe could see that Christians aren't perfect!!!!
The trial between Max and Zoe for the embryos is the main focus of the book and takes up more than half of the book overall--at least 200 pages +. But to me, the REAL story is between Liddy and Zoe. I hungrily ate up the pages, looking and hoping at any moment for these two women to fall into each others' arms--not as lesbian lovers--but as women who have shared more than either one realizes because each is so wrapped up in her own world--of hurts, pain, and suffering.
Yes, Sing You Home has as a central focus the theme of homosexuality. Yes, it's an issue that is dealt with and covered in more ways than I thought possible. I'm not sure that there's a real answer to the problem of lack of tolerance for gays and lesbians, but this story certainly shares both sides of the story in a way that gets the reader thinking--in good, and hopefully, very productive ways.
But the homosexuality issue/theme is, to me, more in the background of the story. This is a story about finding the one thing that every single human being craves with every fiber of our being....love and acceptance for who we are where we are in any given moment of time.
Sing You Home is beautifully written and an absolute must-read. You will probably focus on details and issues different from mine, but that's just awesome! I know that I focused on Liddy and Zoe because both women have been through similar experiences to what I have been through. As a result, I wanted throughout the book for all 3 of us to be the very best of friends. As far as I'm concerned, I was successful in achieving that goal.......
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
HANDLING THE UNDEAD by John Ajvide Lindqvist
This book is the 2nd one by this Swedish author. It was actually published a few years ago in Sweden, but is just now (a few months ago) released in the US--translated into English, of course. This same author is the guy who wrote Let the Right One In--the US movie version which came out at the end of the last year is called Let Me In. This first book is a story about a vampire in a child's body. It's pretty creepy and weird. If you're into vampire stories, it's worth the read. I wouldn't say that I loved it, but I did find it worth reading. I've passed it on to my parents to read, but neither of them can get beyond the first part of the book. It is definitely NOT an easy book to read. I haven't seen the US movie yet (I did see the Swedish version, though). The image that I'm sure I'll remember forever and a day from this first book is the scene where the guy who had been helping the vampire get blood and living with the vampire, with his face burned off--he had tried to kill himself by spilling acid on himself; obviously it doesn't work--but he jumps out of a 10-story hospital window and runs off!!! Then, the other scene that's pretty horrifying is the scene where a woman who has been bitten by the vampire and "infected"--she's becoming a vampire herself, allows the nurse in the hospital to open the blinds so she can burn in the sun. Yes, her body bursts into flames.....Cool, huh?
I know I'm sick. So what else is new?
Anyway, in this new book, Handling the Undead, it's exactly what you think it's about: the undead--Zombies. I didn't find this book a very interesting read, though. (Sorry Mr. Lindquist.) It drags. Nothing really happens until the very end of the book. I mean, of course things happen, but nothing exciting. The characters in the story just move from one motion to the next without much emotion or anything exciting taking place. Even when one of the major characters in the story is being eaten by an undead body that had been drowned, it's written without emotion. I'm pretty sure it's the tone and feel that Lindquist wanted, but I don't like it.
I expected to be REALLY scared out of my skin. Rather than scared, I was simply only mildly curious about what would happen next. It took me right a month to finish the whole book. Normally, I can zip through a book in a week or less, but I just couldn't bring myself to WANT to keep reading this one. Each time I would pick it up, I would stare at the cover, read the background information, look for something new in the eye on the cover, or just simply hold the book in my hands rather than actually read it. I had to force myself to open the book to where I was and read.
Does that mean that the book is awful? The worst book I've ever read? No. Not really. I really feel that part of my "problem" with the book is that something of the real excitement--fear is what I really mean--of the story is lost in having to translate the story from Swedish to English. It makes me wish I could read Swedish so I could read the story in its original language. I think so often that the subtle, great nuances of stories and other writings are lost in translation.
For example, there's no real way to translate much of the Redneck slang that is common for many of us. We can try to make sense of it, but if you don't speak Redneck, you don't really "get" it. In many ways, I think that's why so often readers find books where the writer attempts to write in the slang or dialect of the region difficult, tedious, or just not worthy of reading. Truly, as wonderful as it is for authors to write in the true dialect of the characters in a story, if we're not familiar with that dialect, so much is truly lost in the translation.
As a result, I wish I could read this story in its original translation. Since I can't, I gave it a chance. In English, I just don't feel it's a book I want to pass on and share with my friends and family. If you choose to read it because you "like" zombie stories, I don't think you'll be too disappointed in the story as a whole. I just think that if undead zombies are going to kill the true living, it should happen throughout the story rather than JUST at the end of the story....
I know I'm sick. So what else is new?
Anyway, in this new book, Handling the Undead, it's exactly what you think it's about: the undead--Zombies. I didn't find this book a very interesting read, though. (Sorry Mr. Lindquist.) It drags. Nothing really happens until the very end of the book. I mean, of course things happen, but nothing exciting. The characters in the story just move from one motion to the next without much emotion or anything exciting taking place. Even when one of the major characters in the story is being eaten by an undead body that had been drowned, it's written without emotion. I'm pretty sure it's the tone and feel that Lindquist wanted, but I don't like it.
I expected to be REALLY scared out of my skin. Rather than scared, I was simply only mildly curious about what would happen next. It took me right a month to finish the whole book. Normally, I can zip through a book in a week or less, but I just couldn't bring myself to WANT to keep reading this one. Each time I would pick it up, I would stare at the cover, read the background information, look for something new in the eye on the cover, or just simply hold the book in my hands rather than actually read it. I had to force myself to open the book to where I was and read.
Does that mean that the book is awful? The worst book I've ever read? No. Not really. I really feel that part of my "problem" with the book is that something of the real excitement--fear is what I really mean--of the story is lost in having to translate the story from Swedish to English. It makes me wish I could read Swedish so I could read the story in its original language. I think so often that the subtle, great nuances of stories and other writings are lost in translation.
For example, there's no real way to translate much of the Redneck slang that is common for many of us. We can try to make sense of it, but if you don't speak Redneck, you don't really "get" it. In many ways, I think that's why so often readers find books where the writer attempts to write in the slang or dialect of the region difficult, tedious, or just not worthy of reading. Truly, as wonderful as it is for authors to write in the true dialect of the characters in a story, if we're not familiar with that dialect, so much is truly lost in the translation.
As a result, I wish I could read this story in its original translation. Since I can't, I gave it a chance. In English, I just don't feel it's a book I want to pass on and share with my friends and family. If you choose to read it because you "like" zombie stories, I don't think you'll be too disappointed in the story as a whole. I just think that if undead zombies are going to kill the true living, it should happen throughout the story rather than JUST at the end of the story....
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
"The Three Strangers" by Thomas Hardy
I got it! I knew the ending before the secret was revealed and I was right! Oh yeah! This is a cute little story by one of my favorite authors. Thomas Hardy is such and under-appreciated author! His Tess of d'Urbervilles still gives me the willies, even though I read it over 15 years ago! I ought to read it again...just BECAUSE.
The tone of the story is not really one of joviality even though the whole story is set at a party--a christening for a baby girl. At the same time, I found myself smiling at odd times throughout the story. It's darkly ironic and weird....not much unlike Sweeney Todd....ok, no. That's not right. More like Arsenic and Old Lace light-hearted dark comedy! Not really FUNNY necessarily, but odd and very strange.
If I could ask Thomas Hardy one question, I would ask him (and other authors who write with strange twists at the end) what his process was to get him through the story so he gives just enough hints that if the reader is REALLY paying attention, the reader GETS it, but not so much that your average reader who is simply reading a story for the sake of reading it (as most students in literature classes do) gets it too early. I love stories that leave me guessing. The fact that I GOT this story fairly early on did not take away from my enjoyment of the story, for once....which says an awful lot about what a GREAT, amazing writer Thomas Hardy is!
(Can you believe this post and the previous one are so short?!)
The tone of the story is not really one of joviality even though the whole story is set at a party--a christening for a baby girl. At the same time, I found myself smiling at odd times throughout the story. It's darkly ironic and weird....not much unlike Sweeney Todd....ok, no. That's not right. More like Arsenic and Old Lace light-hearted dark comedy! Not really FUNNY necessarily, but odd and very strange.
If I could ask Thomas Hardy one question, I would ask him (and other authors who write with strange twists at the end) what his process was to get him through the story so he gives just enough hints that if the reader is REALLY paying attention, the reader GETS it, but not so much that your average reader who is simply reading a story for the sake of reading it (as most students in literature classes do) gets it too early. I love stories that leave me guessing. The fact that I GOT this story fairly early on did not take away from my enjoyment of the story, for once....which says an awful lot about what a GREAT, amazing writer Thomas Hardy is!
(Can you believe this post and the previous one are so short?!)
"The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson
Shirley Jackson's short story "The Lottery" has always been one of my favorite stories. I admit that I like stories that have shock value. Not because they're "sick," but because so often stories like this are truly the "teachable" stories. There are SO MANY lessons to learn from it....so much we can take away from the story beyond the story of a town having a lottery no one TODAY wants to be a part of....
I have to say that I find it very interesting how everyone talks about hating this story because the lottery of the story is just so "stupid" (not my word---it's what you all say to me--I refuse to use the other word so many of you use because I just find that word very offensive)....as well as other very negative terms that you all throw at me regarding this story. It's so difficult for everyone believe that a town would WILLINGLY do what the folks of this town do.....We see it as just absolutely HORRIBLE....
But yet, when we have our own lotteries in class, almost everyone throws the marshmallows at the winner.........
Think about that one....especially if you were in the class when we had the lottery, we were given marshmallows, and told to throw them at the winner......I only remember myself and one other person NOT throwing the marshmallows......
But yet, you find the story CRAZY....the people in the town "stupid"---------(Again, I'm just using the terminology you use in the classroom)........
Really makes you think.......doesn't it........
I have to say that I find it very interesting how everyone talks about hating this story because the lottery of the story is just so "stupid" (not my word---it's what you all say to me--I refuse to use the other word so many of you use because I just find that word very offensive)....as well as other very negative terms that you all throw at me regarding this story. It's so difficult for everyone believe that a town would WILLINGLY do what the folks of this town do.....We see it as just absolutely HORRIBLE....
But yet, when we have our own lotteries in class, almost everyone throws the marshmallows at the winner.........
Think about that one....especially if you were in the class when we had the lottery, we were given marshmallows, and told to throw them at the winner......I only remember myself and one other person NOT throwing the marshmallows......
But yet, you find the story CRAZY....the people in the town "stupid"---------(Again, I'm just using the terminology you use in the classroom)........
Really makes you think.......doesn't it........
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Another Book...I've lost count....
A Symphony in the Dark: Hearing God's Vice in Seasons of Grief by Barbara Rainey and Rebecca Rainey Mutz
Warning: what follows is probably going to be not only personal, but also sad. I haven't written it yet, so I don't know what I'm going to say, but the book is about child loss and, in warning, I want you to know that I've experienced child loss myself, so this book has been deeply moving for me....If you don't want to read something too personal (especially if you are a student), I highly recommend that you don't read read any further.......if you do choose to continue reading, I ask only for your prayers....This is usually something I only write about in my journal rather than for a public blog, but I'm trying to keep a running track of all the books I read this year in my blog. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't post this here at all.......
Rebecca and Jacob's story about losing their sweet, precious Molly Ann has so many similarities to when my husband and I lost our precious James Isaac 12 years ago this March 17. Of course, no two stories of child loss are exactly the same, but at the same time, everyone who suffers through the loss of a child KNOWS.....it's definitely a KNOWING I wish with every fiber of my being that I didn't....If I could, I would take it all back and have things be VERY different, oh yes, I would. Rebecca journals that that was a question she pondered: would she change anything? Any mother would say yes....just to be able to hold our precious ones in our arms again???? You bet we would. Does it help knowing our children are safe and truly happy in the arms and presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Of course it does. I imagine Him holding them for me until I get to Heaven and can do it myself, just as He is also holding me in His arms...He holds all of us together....in that way, I feel them with me all the time. Is it the same as having their warm, wriggling bodies full of life here on this earth so I can cuddle them and kiss them all over? A resounding NO doesn't even come close to answering that--there isn't a word bad enough that I'm willing to use here--question.....
Twelve years. There won't be a birthday party at church this coming Wednesday in celebration of James Isaac turning 12. We won't be going "home" to visit my family in eastern NC so we can have a proper family birthday party for my 12-year old son. A lonely visit to his "doorway" (I like that--that's the term Rebecca uses for her Molly's gravesite and I'm going to begin using it) this Thursday after my office hours are over. I'll put some new, fresh baby blue flowers on his grave. Maybe this year I'll get some baby blue ballons and release them when I go visit his Doorway. I'll go alone. I hate making Samuel go unless he asks to go. It's difficult to ask him if he wants to go visit the grave of the big brother he'll only meet in Heaven rather than having him here on this earth to play with--to build things with out of Legos....to fight with.....to share bunk beds with and laugh and giggle, getting in each other's beds, until Daddy or Mommy comes in threatening bodily harm if they don't settle down and go to sleep....
Samuel hates sleeping in his own room....alone. I would, too, if I knew it was supposed to be shared with a sibling who is in a lonely grave rather than in the top bunk....since I'm afraid of the top bunk after having fallen out of a top bunk bed......I know I coddle my only living son more than I should, but every day I think about the one and only time I kissed my James Isaac. (In the book, Rebecca talks about how she and her husband held their Molly and kissed her from head to toe and that they had a professional photographer come in and take pictures of them doing that.) I only kissed my son ONE TIME....and even then, before I kissed him on the one spot on his cheek where I could, I turned to whoever was in the room with us (I don't remember who was in the room other than my husband and our baby, but I know someone else was in there with us) and asked if they thought it would be OK for me to kiss my son....
To this day, I don't know why I felt I had to ask or why I felt that I wasn't allowed to kiss my son...just because he was already gone.....Oh, dear sweet Lord....if I could go back to those short hours we spent with him....I would kiss every inch of his precious little body. I know HE wasn't in that body any more, but oh, to have the feel of him on my lips.....
I can't hug and kiss on Samuel enough.....Lord, please don't let the coddling I do over Samuel be damaging to him in any way.....
I looked Rebecca Rainey Mutz up online and learned that within a year of losing her sweet Molly, she lost her 2nd child, a son, Micah. While Molly lived 7 days, Micah died in the womb, as did my James Isaac. I haven't read far enough to find out why Micah died....James Isaac's cord was wrapped around his neck. I had a miscarriage 8 months after James Isaac's death and birth (both in 1999), then Samuel was born in 2001, and I had another miscarriage in November of 2005. I don't know why God seems to think that people like Rebecca Rainey Mutz or myself can handle one loss, let alone more than one, but, like Rebecca, I plan to continue to put my faith and trust in my Lord Jesus Christ and to find comfort in Him......Truly, even in my sorrow, "The JOY of the Lord is my STRENGTH!" Nehemiah 8:10.
I'm done. If you read this, I will NOT apologize for grieving for my son--regardless of how many years go by. Please don't reply and say something just to say something.....believe it or not, my heart still aches with a pain that will NEVER go away.....
Warning: what follows is probably going to be not only personal, but also sad. I haven't written it yet, so I don't know what I'm going to say, but the book is about child loss and, in warning, I want you to know that I've experienced child loss myself, so this book has been deeply moving for me....If you don't want to read something too personal (especially if you are a student), I highly recommend that you don't read read any further.......if you do choose to continue reading, I ask only for your prayers....This is usually something I only write about in my journal rather than for a public blog, but I'm trying to keep a running track of all the books I read this year in my blog. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't post this here at all.......
Rebecca and Jacob's story about losing their sweet, precious Molly Ann has so many similarities to when my husband and I lost our precious James Isaac 12 years ago this March 17. Of course, no two stories of child loss are exactly the same, but at the same time, everyone who suffers through the loss of a child KNOWS.....it's definitely a KNOWING I wish with every fiber of my being that I didn't....If I could, I would take it all back and have things be VERY different, oh yes, I would. Rebecca journals that that was a question she pondered: would she change anything? Any mother would say yes....just to be able to hold our precious ones in our arms again???? You bet we would. Does it help knowing our children are safe and truly happy in the arms and presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Of course it does. I imagine Him holding them for me until I get to Heaven and can do it myself, just as He is also holding me in His arms...He holds all of us together....in that way, I feel them with me all the time. Is it the same as having their warm, wriggling bodies full of life here on this earth so I can cuddle them and kiss them all over? A resounding NO doesn't even come close to answering that--there isn't a word bad enough that I'm willing to use here--question.....
Twelve years. There won't be a birthday party at church this coming Wednesday in celebration of James Isaac turning 12. We won't be going "home" to visit my family in eastern NC so we can have a proper family birthday party for my 12-year old son. A lonely visit to his "doorway" (I like that--that's the term Rebecca uses for her Molly's gravesite and I'm going to begin using it) this Thursday after my office hours are over. I'll put some new, fresh baby blue flowers on his grave. Maybe this year I'll get some baby blue ballons and release them when I go visit his Doorway. I'll go alone. I hate making Samuel go unless he asks to go. It's difficult to ask him if he wants to go visit the grave of the big brother he'll only meet in Heaven rather than having him here on this earth to play with--to build things with out of Legos....to fight with.....to share bunk beds with and laugh and giggle, getting in each other's beds, until Daddy or Mommy comes in threatening bodily harm if they don't settle down and go to sleep....
Samuel hates sleeping in his own room....alone. I would, too, if I knew it was supposed to be shared with a sibling who is in a lonely grave rather than in the top bunk....since I'm afraid of the top bunk after having fallen out of a top bunk bed......I know I coddle my only living son more than I should, but every day I think about the one and only time I kissed my James Isaac. (In the book, Rebecca talks about how she and her husband held their Molly and kissed her from head to toe and that they had a professional photographer come in and take pictures of them doing that.) I only kissed my son ONE TIME....and even then, before I kissed him on the one spot on his cheek where I could, I turned to whoever was in the room with us (I don't remember who was in the room other than my husband and our baby, but I know someone else was in there with us) and asked if they thought it would be OK for me to kiss my son....
To this day, I don't know why I felt I had to ask or why I felt that I wasn't allowed to kiss my son...just because he was already gone.....Oh, dear sweet Lord....if I could go back to those short hours we spent with him....I would kiss every inch of his precious little body. I know HE wasn't in that body any more, but oh, to have the feel of him on my lips.....
I can't hug and kiss on Samuel enough.....Lord, please don't let the coddling I do over Samuel be damaging to him in any way.....
I looked Rebecca Rainey Mutz up online and learned that within a year of losing her sweet Molly, she lost her 2nd child, a son, Micah. While Molly lived 7 days, Micah died in the womb, as did my James Isaac. I haven't read far enough to find out why Micah died....James Isaac's cord was wrapped around his neck. I had a miscarriage 8 months after James Isaac's death and birth (both in 1999), then Samuel was born in 2001, and I had another miscarriage in November of 2005. I don't know why God seems to think that people like Rebecca Rainey Mutz or myself can handle one loss, let alone more than one, but, like Rebecca, I plan to continue to put my faith and trust in my Lord Jesus Christ and to find comfort in Him......Truly, even in my sorrow, "The JOY of the Lord is my STRENGTH!" Nehemiah 8:10.
I'm done. If you read this, I will NOT apologize for grieving for my son--regardless of how many years go by. Please don't reply and say something just to say something.....believe it or not, my heart still aches with a pain that will NEVER go away.....
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
ALICE IN WONDERLAND
As an English teacher, I know I'm "supposed" to enjoy just about everything I read, but honestly, there is NOTHING I enjoy about Alice in Wonderland....yes, that includes the movie version with Johnny Depp. It just is NOT an enjoyable story for me. I love LOVE the Jabberwocky and think that poem is pure genius, but the story of Alice makes me want to go to sleep.....I finally read the whole thing and decided to quit basing my judgment on the story from the Disney version of the movie that I watched MANY years ago....guess what? My dislike has grown rather than diminished. It is just plain BORING. Nothing really HAPPENS in the story. Alice is only 7 and, granted, 7-year olds don't have the intellect I'm often looking for in stories, but even knowing that doesn't help this story. This isn't an adventure....it's a boring walk through a pretty place with pretty descriptions. Since I don't really enjoy the boring walk descriptive work of the Romantic poets, why would I like it any better with a 7-year old doing it?!
I've tried to at least find an appreciation for the story....I even decided to write my NaNoWriMo novel last November based on Alice in Wonderland. My story idea came from a slip of the tongue by my husband when he called it ALEX in Wonderland. I honestly thought it would be funny to write about a young man's (Alex's) adventure in Wonderland. I read the book in preparation for writing my book, and....NOTHING. Not only did the true story go nowhere for me, I was barely able to eke out 10,000 words out of the requisite 50,000 words for the month!!!!
The only praise I can give for the book itself is...the ending. Yeah. That's it. I like when it's O-V-E-R....Yes. That includes the Johnny Depp move....sorry, Johnny....you can't be amazing in EVERYHING......
I've tried to at least find an appreciation for the story....I even decided to write my NaNoWriMo novel last November based on Alice in Wonderland. My story idea came from a slip of the tongue by my husband when he called it ALEX in Wonderland. I honestly thought it would be funny to write about a young man's (Alex's) adventure in Wonderland. I read the book in preparation for writing my book, and....NOTHING. Not only did the true story go nowhere for me, I was barely able to eke out 10,000 words out of the requisite 50,000 words for the month!!!!
The only praise I can give for the book itself is...the ending. Yeah. That's it. I like when it's O-V-E-R....Yes. That includes the Johnny Depp move....sorry, Johnny....you can't be amazing in EVERYHING......
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