Full of J.O.Y.

FYI:  Spiritual as well as very personal content follows.  Read at your own discretion.

If it is true, as David Young says in his book JOY, that "...the deeper the child of God is pulled down into earthly sorrow, the higher he will eventually spring up in heavenly joy" (189), then I gotta tell ya that that explains an awful lot.  I have times when I honestly feel so full of joy that the only place it could possibly from would be God Himself.  When I consider everything I've suffered in my life, it would be so easy to fall into a pool of despair and stay there.

Now, I don't want you thinking that I'm always full of joy and bubbly and experiencing the full joy of the Lord.  I do have days where I wonder how I'm going to move, let alone make it through the day.  I do have days where my "Heartache finds a bottom," but Praise the Lord, it isn't long until "joy rebounds" (189).

For the sake of those of you who don't know me:

1.  while I was pregnant with my first son, my left ovary and part of my fallopian tube had to be removed because of a growing cyst
2.  my first son was stillborn just two weeks before his due date in 1999
3.  that same year, I had a miscarriage
4.  during the delivery of my only living child, my heart rate shot up to over 202 beats/minute
5.  I had another miscarriage a few short years later
6.  in 2009, I ended up in the hospital with severe stomach pains--I was in and out of consciousness for a week--at the end of which the doctor had to do emergency surgery where I had an ostomy (the cause of the severe stomach pains was a severe infections from diverticulitis)
7.  3 months later, the doctor reversed that surgery--leaving me with 2 huge, ugly scars on my belly
8.  during all of this, my husband and I have continued to struggle in our marriage (still ongoing)
9.  my grandmother (Baba) died
10.  a year after my diverticulitis attack, I was back in the hospital having an ablation because I had polyps in my uterus--effectively cutting off any more chances for having more children, if that had been something I still wanted--I did.
11.  last year, my son experienced the worst thing a child can go through

So in case you want to know why I smile bigger than anyone you know....why I always say I'm "Peachie" when asked how I'm doing.....why I laugh louder than anyone else in the room....why I sing at the top of my lungs even though I can't carry a tune in a bucket.....why I hug everyone I can whenever I can and I hug with my WHOLE being.....why I love so passionately.....it's because I've been deeper than anyone deserves to go (I know I'm not the only one) but I know in whom I believe and in Him and through Him, I live and move and have my being.  He has truly turned my mourning into dancing--into joy.

I will NOT apologize for experiencing the full JOY of the Lord.  I've asked Him to anoint me with the "oil of Joy" more than anyone else (Psalm 45:7 and Hebrews 1:9).  And He has answered my prayer.

JUMOY!

I only have one other comment about David Young's book and that is about the chapter where he brings up "Pollyanna."  You see, my name is Polly Anna, so I always pay closer attention when I see my name in print like that.  The problem is that he brings up being "Pollyanna-ish," but he doesn't explain whether his discussion of being a "Pollyanna" is a positive thing or a negative thing.  I just want to say that the real Pollyanna in the wonderful book of the same name by Eleanor H. Porter is a wonderful young woman who, with her dad, invents the "Glad Game" where they try to find something to be glad about even in the worst of situations.

If that's me--and it is, then I proudly say that I AM POLLY ANNA.....and I am GLAD that I am alive and full of the Joy of the Lord!

Hallelujah!